I've had a bit of a dry spell in the hobby department. It started when my coastal board project went south. Repeatedly patching and correcting the lifting board was trying my patience and after remedying problem areas Id soon discover others had arisen. Getting nowhere sucks ass.
In my case I've stuck with modelling and painting for such a long time because it relaxes me. On one end there is the a creative component. The same part of me that enjoys reading a good book or murdering my own darlings wants to experience, or tell a story. Painting and modelling are a physical extension of these imaginary pursuits. The maker in me is satisfied by a well finished project or even a deft stroke of brush that produced a desirable result.
There is a microcosm in miniature that draws my focus away from anything that isn't happening on that bench or even within the crux of a thumb and forefinger. The escape I feel when painting is meditative. I forget things external, and find myself wondering where the time went as pack away my brushes after a session.
So what happens when all of that goes horribly wrong and the de-stressor becomes the source of stress? When I get in a hobby funk I become a stranger to my bench. A cluttered work area is a busy work area until you look over and realize it isn't hobby stuff piling up there after weeks of neglect. At it's worst it's as though I am unconsciously trying to remove it from sight and memory.
There could be a lot of things going on in my life at any time but when things are bad externally I'm more like to hit the paint table but when I have severely botched some hobby endeavor I step away sometimes for months at time. New hobbyists are typically intimidated by the prospect of painting but as you get on on with it I think the that is replaced by chasing the challenge. What destroys my interest in painting and hobby is the loss of control.
That's really it. In a lifetime there are very few circumstances that allow you absolute control. The loss of that control/mastery wrecks it for me. It some post deep in the archives I confessed that I was a bit of a control freak and here it is made manifest. It good to feel like a master even if your rotten cat jumps on your bench and knocks your stuff over so she can drink your paint water
The great obstacle to reclaiming the space is a return to mastery. I don't know if everyone wants to be Odysseus dealing with the suitors but, it goes a long way to restoring confidence and getting back in the game. I don't need to complete the project that stymied me. I need to get the basic confidence back to reclaim the space.
It started with two small projects in the last couple weeks. Stan had some spare AoS Glaivewraith Stalkers he wasn't using that he sent my way. They weren't models that fit perfectly with the Deathrattle force I have been building but there's the rub. When take a piss where I eat I need to look outside that space to get things moving. The Stalkers are pretty cool figures and I was able to play with some techniques for Ethereals that I hadn't tried before. It was what I needed in order to reengage. It was a bit size project that convinced me to pick up my brushes and go again.
From working on the stalkers I was further encouraged to return to my Walking Dead project. I have been working on this one intermittently through the year but last year it was my most ambitious project. I'm probably stealing a bit of the glow I got from that one but, whatever gets you through the night. At present the nine Made to Suffer models are just past basecoats but tackling them has recaptured the relaxation that I'd been missing in hobby for quite some time.
|Back in action WIP.|